“It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.” – Anthony Robbins
Every day we take hundreds, if not thousands, decisions. Everything in our daily life is a consequence of our choices, big or small: what we are going to do when we wake up in the morning, what we are going to eat for breakfast, how we are going to start the day, what we are going to say to people we meet, how we behave, and so on.
In this post you’ll learn about the 3 most important decisions you make daily and how these can change your life.
Take respons-‘ability’ for changing
First of all you need to understand that before things can change, you yourself have to change. Before things can get better, you have to be better.
In other words, complaining and blaming other people for what happens in our own lives has never helped anyone, and certainly won’t help you change the course of events.
Yet, more often than not, what do we do? Not only do we complain, get angry or end up taking our frustration out on people who don’t deserve it, we’re also quite certain that what has happened to us in the past will affect both our present and our future.
That is to say, we’re convinced that because we did something a certain way in the past we’ll only be able do it that way in the future. In reality, our biography – the story of the person we’ve been up to now – is NOT our destiny.
For the sake of our own comfort, or perhaps out of habit, far too often we make up stories and excuses, finding reasons why we can’t change. Or we search for plausible explanations for why our efforts will never come to fruition.
Our two greatest fears as human beings
Why is it we invent these stories? Why do we come up with these excuses? The reason is simple: the stories we tell ourselves and the excuses we adopt are nothing but projections of our fears.
Being afraid is normal – all human beings have fears. These fears are just a survival instinct.
Ignoring your fears is completely useless, because they are part of you and will never go away, although they can be managed so that they don’t gain control of your mind. You can even decide to turn them into valuable allies.
According to Tony Robbins, each and every human being has two fundamental fears:
- The fear of not being good enough
- The fear of not being loved
These two deep-rooted fears are there when you take any kind of action or make any decision. Think about it for a moment. Think back to the last time you felt stuck, afraid to take another step. Could this perhaps have been the result of one of these two fears?
Fear of failure, fear of being ridiculed, fear of not succeeding, fear of change, fear of not being equal to a situation… all can be attributed to one or both of these two fundamental fears.
This doesn’t mean we’re all destined to live in constant dread – far from it! We can decide to MANAGE these fears, and to do so in a way that doesn’t negatively influence our relationships with others, and has no effect on our lives or our happiness.
How? By making better decisions.
DECISION 1: What are you choosing to focus on?
It’s the things we decide to focus on that determine our emotions and impressions.
Your perception is determined by where you decide to direct your attention. When you focus on a particular thing, it’s as though at that moment nothing other than that specific thing exists for you. Everything else becomes a blurred outline.
For example, think about the last time you bought a car. Most probably, before you bought it you did a lot of research. You thought about which model would be most suitable and then you looked into prices and shopped around for the best deal.
From then on you started noticing that car everywhere you went. It suddenly seemed as though everyone had it, didn’t it?
Of course, the number of cars like yours hadn’t actually changed at all. It was just your perception that changed. This is a typical example of selective attention.
So where do you tend to focus your attention?
- On things you can control or things you CAN’T control?
- On things you have or things you DON’T have?
- On the past, present or future?
If you keep focusing on things you have no influence over, you’ll feel insecure, unsure and incapable of controlling events. This feeling will have repercussions in other areas of your life and will affect you generally, causing uncertainty.
If you keep focusing on what you don’t have, you’ll lose sight of what you have, what you already possess – the blessings in your life. The glass will always seem half empty and you’ll always be on the lookout for something to fill that void, but you’ll never feel fulfilled.
If you keep focusing exclusively on the past or the future, you’ll lose sight of the here and now. You won’t be able to enjoy the small victories, the beauty of everyday events, and you won’t appreciate the gifts given to you by the present. Instead, choose to concentrate on the present AND on the future, so that you build your long-term happiness day by day.
DECISION 2: What does this event mean?
The second decision that determines your quality of life is the significance you ascribe to the things that happen to you. Are you aware of what kind of words you’re using when you talk about your life? What do you say to others about your daily existence?
The meaning of each event in your life is determined by your beliefs, as well as by the excuses and stories you come up with.
A situation can be seen as a misfortune by some people and a blessing by others. Why? Because events aren’t meaningful in themselves – they acquire the meaning you give them. You can change the significance of events by changing the beliefs you hold about them.
DECISION 3: What will you decide to do?
In the same way, every second of your life it’s YOU who decides what you want to do and how to react to the events around you.
Your choices are not determined by fate or by circumstance. They depend on your beliefs and on what you think it’s possible or not possible for you to do.
As I explain in my upcoming book ‘Master The Art of Life“, you have the choice. You can decide to access your true potential and break through the limits you’ve imposed on yourself once and for all.
What choice do you want to make?
It’s the ability to make better decisions that really makes a difference to people’s quality of life.
The 3 fundamental choices you’re making every second of your life are:
- what you’re choosing to focus on
- what events mean to you
- what you decide to do
The next time you end up feeling low, discouraged or defeated, try to think back to these 3 decisions. You’ll realise that you’re focusing on the wrong things, on what you CAN’T change, what you CAN’T control, what you DON’T have. Just change your focus and redirect your attention towards something more useful.
Download you free preview of “Master The Art of Life” now and discover the 7 steps to become the Hero of your own life.
This post was first published on LadyBoss.